Uh, why do you think you are fat? Because you are not fat. Or obese. Or morbidly obese. You don’t have 2 chins. And, let’s face it, you are pretty f-ing awesome. Honestly, just reading this assessment of yourself opened my eyes a little wider to my own self assessment. I wonder how many people would listen to me describe myself and then say, “Do WHAT?!?” just I I reacted to your description of yourself. Hmmmm…..

You and I have the exact same story. Identical. I too had to use IVF to become pregnant. I too lost a twin at 7 weeks. The other twin is now 4.5 years old and a PISTOL. I often think what it would be like if there were two of her — God help me! But for me, the overwhelming feeling I felt at that fatal ultrasound was guilt: Guilt because I was so much more grateful that we had one baby thriving than I was upset that the other baby was gone. I felt like a monster because I wasn’t able to mourn the loss of the child that wasn’t out of relief for the child that was. Honestly, this is something I have never come to terms with. I’ve pushed it way, way down and have never spoken about it, not until right now, because you shared your story. God bless you Bek. I pray that the rest of your pregnancy is smooth sailing and I pray that, no matter what your body looks like before, during, or after, that you just focus on that little miracle. He/she will be your heartbeat for the rest of your life.