Dear Rainbow Casey, I am very sorry to read about your suffering. Please allow me to share a few words with you. I am not a native english speaker, so please forgive me my mistakes. First of all I would like to tell you that altough beauty can trigger admiration, respect, lust, greed and there is no doubt that beautiful people have an easier way in some aspects of life, beauty can never generate love. Look around you. Life is not what television, movies or magazines tell us it is. There are people of all shapes and ages falling in love, and most of the time beauty has nothing to do with it. Remember when you fell in love. Was it because your man was handsome? Or was he handsome because you loved him? Love comes from a heart that radiates life, passion, laughter, understanding, compassion. and those are the things that make humans beautiful, no matter if they fit into the ruling sceme or not. You seem to be an intelligent person, with an open mind (or you wouldn’t go to college) and those are very good starters to live an interesting life. You may feel old, but that means you have experience, stories to tell, equanimity and maybe wisdom. It does not mean that you have lost your passion or your potential to see lifes incredible wonders. People do not come with an expiration date. My great aunt met the love of her life at seventy. It was love at first sight. And another aunt of mine met hers at 55. He was 25 years her junior, and they were blissfully happy, until he died suddenly. Do not lose courage, and try to escape the hell you make for yourself by staring at your imperfections and beating yourself up for them. There is a lot to see out there. And a lot to love. All the best to you.