Milking Millions Off Women's Self-Doubt: A Poem

Industries are born on the backs of Women hating themselves.
It's an emotional slavery that milks these women, dollar by dollar,
Like chained dairy cows, Oozing vicious droplets of self-hate
That rot the roots of a woman's inner beauty...

You see, executive bonuses don't swell when women feel naturally beautiful
Just as they are.
You can't push lipstick, eye shadow, foundation, and blush
Like crack cocaine or heroin,
On a woman who sees her true worth, you dig?

Millions are milked from the financial breasts of women
Simply by convincing them
A Grand Canyon exists between them and being beautiful.

Magazines and movies are complicit in this lie that warps all of our minds

into a silent submission prostrating to the Lords Of Media
Who enrich themselves on the suffering of a woman,

as she whips herself leaving emotional scars that don't have to last a lifetime

but all too often do.

Diet pills, Spanx, and photoshop are foot soldiers in the war on women's self-esteem,

hell-bent on their own Crusade to convert unsuspecting teens, or worse, preteens,

into self-critical consumers of false hopes offered by surgeons, photographers, and others

who want to hide, reshape, retouch, or fix what actually isn't wrong with you.

Millions are milked from the bank accounts of women who have been brainwashed to believe they aren't good enough.

Industries thrive when she looks in the mirror and hates herself just a little more with each day, each wrinkle, each magazine consumed.

Embodied self-esteem breaks the chains of dependence on products that merely momentarily massage our bandaged egos,

Cutting the umbilical chord of self-suffering that has been feeding their bodies and their brains

with toxic imagery of fake tits and other ideals that are nothing more than comparative trampolines:

Your mind soars on the amphetimes of a shopping spree

yet crashes when the superficial effects wear off.

Ask yourself this:

Who would buy what is being sold if women actually believed they were beautiful for who they are,

not what they look like?

Industries would crumble. Bonuses would deflate.

Executives would scramble, Board rooms would be abuzz.

What would they do if women stopped buying the lie that they are flawed, that they aren't enough?

And the best part of the corporate magic trick to maximize profits built on women hating themselves:

women do a bangup job making other women hate themselves too,

and have become the front line warriors destroying other women's fragile sense of self.

You can blame everyone and their mother

or you can believe: It's time.

It's time to close your eyes, ears, and wallets to the pimps of self-loathing

who want you hooked on their drugs that manufacture dysmorphia in your brain.

Self-esteem doesn't come in a bottle. You were born beautiful.

There is only one way forward. Women rising up &

Empowering each other to leap into the unknown chasm

of life's greatest love affair with one's own self.

-Alok Appadurai is a writer, co-Founder of "A Beautiful Body Project" & "Fed By Threads", an advocate for animals & the environment, and a proud father to baby Sequoia.

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Showing 41 reactions

Lucy Murphy commented 2013-08-17 00:27:45 -0700 · Flag

Eugene - you seem to think there is one golden standard of beauty. This is not the case. Take a look around the world at the various body modifications considered beautiful by different cultures (long necks, braided hair, facial scars etc). Also, I’d love you to clarify ‘acting feminine’ for me.

Eugene Leader commented 2013-08-16 23:15:58 -0700 · Flag

Men = the better they are at being hunters, warriors and to some extent leaders the higher the chance they have to reproduce. Women = need to be beautiful not for themselves, but for the males to succeed at what if pretty much their only important role; to give birth. No collection of random hippie/devil wears Prada quotes is going to change thousands upon thousands of years of evolution. Impress the men by taking care of your selves, acting feminine, and treating your chosen one with respect. Adopt a “I am beautiful inside” regardless of being severely overweight etc and instead of happiness through a loving family and such you will end up with 5-8 cats. HIPPIES DO NOT WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND THIS CAREFUL.

Joan Giacchi-Eccarius commented 2013-08-16 20:48:53 -0700 · Flag

WELL SAID…..AND TO ALL THE YOUNG BOYS WITH SISTERS IT STARTS WITH YOU……

Ashley Jago commented 2013-08-16 20:10:10 -0700 · Flag

Darlene, this is a male issue just as much as it is a female issue. Women dress up for men, men manufacture and sell the products that women feel they need to look “beautiful” and perform the surgeries to “enhance” their bodies. Men also have issues with not feeling good about themselves. Why be so negative about such an amazing project?

Andrea Veleda commented 2013-08-16 18:28:23 -0700 · Flag

Thank you for writing this! :)

Darien Moore commented 2013-08-16 18:27:55 -0700 · Flag

I’m 42 and feel 100 some days- my body sags in the wrong places and when the sun hits my face just right I notice the wrinkles more around my eyes- I’ve never really had “a style” - weight always up & down-Recently lost 50 pounds and now seem to obsess more over my weight even more so then I did before, and it’s funny, I look older now and feel tired. The pressure to look a certain way is sickening- Recently looking into a career change, was shocked when the posting actually said, “preferably young and attractive apply” WOW - I was so angry reading that- what happened with being skilled in your line of work, not based on appearance?!
I very much enjoyed & APPRECIATED reading your words of intelligence, THANK YOU! This touched me in more ways than you can imagine

Terri Howell-Schlaiss commented 2013-08-16 17:50:45 -0700 · Flag

Thank you, I could barely see the last half for the tears that spilled, this truly resonates

Maegan Vance commented 2013-08-16 17:16:33 -0700 · Flag

Beautiful and truthful. If only we could all see ourselves for the beautifully real people we are. Thank you.

Lorena Cavalcanti commented 2013-08-16 15:03:57 -0700 · Flag

Tears rolling down my cheeks. Deeply touched.

Jewell Davis-Hayabuchi commented 2013-08-16 15:02:04 -0700 · Flag

I have stopped dying my hair so my sliver sparkles can shine! I love this poem and I am going to share!

Kathryn Joan Graham commented 2013-08-16 14:59:24 -0700 · Flag

Brilliant and spot on. . (I think you mean Heroin not Heroine)

Sara patricia micolta commented 2013-08-16 14:52:04 -0700 · Flag

The world system and the media have sold us the picture, and both men and women - to feel good and be well, if women have to be physically beautiful, and self-esteem in men up to 100% to be able to have one of these dolls at her side, become almost perfect. for this reason that most of them have been influenced by this social role, have compromised health to their lives. being operated by having perfect curves.

Jeanmarie Simpson commented 2013-08-16 14:51:09 -0700 · Flag

Alok isn’t putting a stamp on the issue. He’s voicing his perception of an impossibly complex picture. All perspectives are vital, if we want to move beyond this. Thank you, Alok, for being a part of this project and an important voice in the conversation. And thank you for the poetry.

Nicole Sanderson commented 2013-08-16 14:48:23 -0700 · Flag

Amazing!

Darlene M commented 2013-08-16 14:44:23 -0700 · Flag

PS how is this a poem?

Darlene M commented 2013-08-16 14:42:20 -0700 · Flag

Who knew a man could find himself on a soap box about a woman’s issue? I think Alok should step back and let Jade take the reigns on this. She doesn’t need him as her mouth piece. How is he a co-founder of a project that was born out of Jade’s self doubt as a woman with the body of a new mother? Insulting to say the least. Insulting to her and insulting to women that you feel the need to put a male stamp on a female issue.

Nancy Gedney commented 2013-08-16 14:34:11 -0700 · Flag

Oh, yes. At 67 I’m finally beginning to see myself as outwardly beautiful as an old woman, I.e. when I haven’t fixed up. I can take 20 years off by fixing! I want to love the unfixed me. I think my inner beauty is winning out. Whew!

Sarah Holtz Stout commented 2013-08-16 14:28:50 -0700 · Flag

Thank you! I needed that today! What a gift!

Jeanmarie Simpson commented 2013-08-16 14:19:45 -0700 · Flag

Happy to see these male-generated words. Thank you.

Fatima Abukhodair commented 2013-08-16 14:04:56 -0700 · Flag

I loved it and I shared it!!

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