Shannon Falkenstein commented on Need Help Writing Your Story?
2013-08-29 13:47:14 -0700
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I just submitted my story and I hit Submit before I could save a copy myself!! How can I access my story now??
Shannon Falkenstein commented on Lulani & Her Children
2013-08-29 13:45:42 -0700
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I love this. Brings tears to my eyes. Thank you.
Shannon Falkenstein commented on Submit Your Body's Story
2013-08-29 13:42:36 -0700
Nirvana in my Closet
After a Saturday at the beach with two (younger, beautiful, thin) friends, I was feeling insecure and ashamed about my body. I could observe my own self seeing myself through the trance of mara. The image was of a sad, sagging sack of cellulite. It was as though I had stapled every poor food choice, every extra cookie, every last-bit-stuffed-down of food onto my body. I felt exposed and judged.
Thankfully, I realized I was in the trance of mara — the concept of not being good enough, of not seeing our inherent worth beyond form — and was able to let the judgments sort of hang around until I could figure out what to do with them.
When I awoke the next day, they were still there, scolding me for how bad I look and bossing me to get on an exercise plan, give up sugar for lent and just stop eating so damn much!!!
Still, I listened.
I went to the park to exercise, but instead of intending to break a sweat and give my “ugly” body hell for being so bad, I flipped the script. I slowly poured my cup of coffee into a travel mug and decided to relax my way around the park.
I had a great time and did not stress out or berate myself.
Later, I meditated for 15 minutes:
“I am ok. I am beautiful. Everything is ok. I don’t have to do anything for 15 minutes. My legs are beautiful for with them I can walk. My (lunch lady) arms are beautiful gifts, perfect in every way, for with them I can hold my young children. I am surrounded by love. I am love.”
After showering, I had to Find Something To Wear.
In my walk-in closet, I noticed The Voices. The voices that had been harming me for years without entering my conscious awareness.
Every outfit sang a similar tune:
“You’re too fat to wear me.”
“Your butt is too big for me.”
“You are schlubby and I will reveal that to the world.”
“Hide in me, I can make your horrible rear end seem acceptable.”
“I can protect you with my drape so you won’t feel ashamed.”
All at once, the illusion shattered. The scales fell from my eyes and I saw, really SAW what is in my closet:
A bounty of silks, cottons, wools, spandex, polyester, nylon, rayon. Hangers. Bags. Miles of well-made shoes. Abundance enough for several lifetimes of dressing my body. Stunning colors, memories of amazing events I’ve attended with people I love, souvenirs of shopping in foreign cities, gifts I’ve received from people who love me, Items conceived of, designed, sourced, created, marketed and sold - for me!
Next I noticed my darling husband’s shirts and was hit by a wave of gratitude for all the clothes in the closet that he had bought for me.
In that instant, everything changed. I was no longer a victim of the horror show of self-aggression that used to greet me daily. Not only that, but my shame had transformed into wonder and gratitude. If a miracle is a change in perspective then this, my sisters, was a miracle.
Next, I noticed pain in my body. It was time to make amends to her. I felt the pain of berating myself every time I had looked for something to wear. I felt the hollow numbness in my stomach, the tightness in my throat and the ache around my heart.
I held this acute pain in my awareness and patted my soft body in the same way I pat my children. I said sorry for hurting myself and I told my body what someone once told me was their definition of love: “I am aware of you and I take you seriously.”
Then I got dressed. It was easy and I looked great! I spontaneously said “hi beautiful!” to the mirror and saw the most glowing, enthusiastic, hi-five face beaming back at me.
Never again will I run that gauntlet of self-aggression in my closet, in a dressing room, at the beach or at a party. I love and accept myself exactly as I am. I am beyond form, beyond judgment, beyond shame.
And all those stories of not being good enough, thin enough, smart enough, enough enough are just that - stories. Fictional stories that we’ve listened to for so long we started to believe them. How could you possibly NOT be enough? It sounds crazy to me now that I’ve woken up.
We are all connected, all one, and so I am the everything. I am love. And so are you.
And now, whenever I need to Find Something To Wear, I ask my clothes to pick ME and they never fail.
After a Saturday at the beach with two (younger, beautiful, thin) friends, I was feeling insecure and ashamed about my body. I could observe my own self seeing myself through the trance of mara. The image was of a sad, sagging sack of cellulite. It was as though I had stapled every poor food choice, every extra cookie, every last-bit-stuffed-down of food onto my body. I felt exposed and judged.
Thankfully, I realized I was in the trance of mara — the concept of not being good enough, of not seeing our inherent worth beyond form — and was able to let the judgments sort of hang around until I could figure out what to do with them.
When I awoke the next day, they were still there, scolding me for how bad I look and bossing me to get on an exercise plan, give up sugar for lent and just stop eating so damn much!!!
Still, I listened.
I went to the park to exercise, but instead of intending to break a sweat and give my “ugly” body hell for being so bad, I flipped the script. I slowly poured my cup of coffee into a travel mug and decided to relax my way around the park.
I had a great time and did not stress out or berate myself.
Later, I meditated for 15 minutes:
“I am ok. I am beautiful. Everything is ok. I don’t have to do anything for 15 minutes. My legs are beautiful for with them I can walk. My (lunch lady) arms are beautiful gifts, perfect in every way, for with them I can hold my young children. I am surrounded by love. I am love.”
After showering, I had to Find Something To Wear.
In my walk-in closet, I noticed The Voices. The voices that had been harming me for years without entering my conscious awareness.
Every outfit sang a similar tune:
“You’re too fat to wear me.”
“Your butt is too big for me.”
“You are schlubby and I will reveal that to the world.”
“Hide in me, I can make your horrible rear end seem acceptable.”
“I can protect you with my drape so you won’t feel ashamed.”
All at once, the illusion shattered. The scales fell from my eyes and I saw, really SAW what is in my closet:
A bounty of silks, cottons, wools, spandex, polyester, nylon, rayon. Hangers. Bags. Miles of well-made shoes. Abundance enough for several lifetimes of dressing my body. Stunning colors, memories of amazing events I’ve attended with people I love, souvenirs of shopping in foreign cities, gifts I’ve received from people who love me, Items conceived of, designed, sourced, created, marketed and sold - for me!
Next I noticed my darling husband’s shirts and was hit by a wave of gratitude for all the clothes in the closet that he had bought for me.
In that instant, everything changed. I was no longer a victim of the horror show of self-aggression that used to greet me daily. Not only that, but my shame had transformed into wonder and gratitude. If a miracle is a change in perspective then this, my sisters, was a miracle.
Next, I noticed pain in my body. It was time to make amends to her. I felt the pain of berating myself every time I had looked for something to wear. I felt the hollow numbness in my stomach, the tightness in my throat and the ache around my heart.
I held this acute pain in my awareness and patted my soft body in the same way I pat my children. I said sorry for hurting myself and I told my body what someone once told me was their definition of love: “I am aware of you and I take you seriously.”
Then I got dressed. It was easy and I looked great! I spontaneously said “hi beautiful!” to the mirror and saw the most glowing, enthusiastic, hi-five face beaming back at me.
Never again will I run that gauntlet of self-aggression in my closet, in a dressing room, at the beach or at a party. I love and accept myself exactly as I am. I am beyond form, beyond judgment, beyond shame.
And all those stories of not being good enough, thin enough, smart enough, enough enough are just that - stories. Fictional stories that we’ve listened to for so long we started to believe them. How could you possibly NOT be enough? It sounds crazy to me now that I’ve woken up.
We are all connected, all one, and so I am the everything. I am love. And so are you.
And now, whenever I need to Find Something To Wear, I ask my clothes to pick ME and they never fail.
Have Your Voice Heard!
Now Accepting Stories From Women (Not Just Mothers) About Your Bodies From Around The World Of Any Race, Any Ethnicity, Any Sexual Orientation, Any Age!
Have YOUR Voice Heard!
Industries make millions of dollars when women feel insecure, ugly, competitive, & self-conscious. Let’s change that.
Women and mothers have the most amazing, difficult, passionate, and inspiring stories to tell about their bodies, their tiger stripes, battles with cancer & illness, stretch marks, sexual abuse or their thinning out, their gaining weight, their breast-feeding, their miscarriages and beyond. So many stories swirl around these bodies of ours and sharing our stories is the best way to empower ourselves, to realize we are not alone, to help others embrace their own bodies.
Silence keeps our voices and our beautiful selves unheard. By telling your story maybe you help another woman feel strong enough to tell hers.
Please include your name, city/state/country, phone number, email, and your story. Please do NOT include a photo.
Take Your Time! Compose your thoughts. There is no rush. Take notes. Maybe write an outline of your memories, thoughts, & feelings. Then, sit down, and write your story!
Here are some questions that can guide your story but by no means are these required guidelines:
- How do you feel about your body?
- What story or stories have you been carrying with you?
- Was there a specific moment that defined your story or is it layered over time? Explain.
- What hopes and dreams do you have for future generations of women?
- What has helped your progress to feel beautiful & cultivate self-esteem?
- Do you have marks from child-birth and what story do those represent for you?
- Have you been keeping anything inside that you wish you could finally get out?
- Have you been able to improve how you feel about yourself and if so, how?
- Did you struggle to get pregnant? Did you have a miscarriage? Did you ever lose a child?
- Did you ever have to abort a pregnancy?
- What is your story about your body?
- What would you like to be different in how you view your story and your body?
