I am a mom of one son and now a gramma of three grandaughters. I grew up being a sun loving, beach loving California girl, that in my late teens and into my forties, I abused my skin by laying in the sun or laying in a tanning bed to reflect that golden brown that I so wated to always show off.
As a result, I have destroyed my skin that was over exposed to the sun or artificial sun (tanning beds). My sun exposed skin is covered with sun ‘freckles’ or sun/age spots, that now at age (almost) 59, many of these sun/age spots are raised skin tags. They are so ugly and embarrassing. I always loved to show off my beautifully tanned body (once I would undergo my initial ‘sun season’ burn - often turning into sun poisoning blistering and peeling of dead skin). Now, my skin is so ugly. I don’t like to wear shorts, let alone (any type of) bathing suit.
In addition, my body reflects the post-menopausal weight gain in my stomach and upper torso body…broadening of my shoulders, enlargement of my breasts, and my unsightly stomach. I can’t even think about dating a man because of how embarrassed I am of my body at this time in my life. I hate I feel this way…not only for myself but for my grandaughters, that live with me.
I want to let this self-loathing of my body go and embrace the beauty of within…learn to love my body again…so my grandaughters will ALWAYS love their bodies; no matter the ‘flaws’ they perceive they have with their bodies. My twelve year old grandaughter is tall and quite ‘filled out’ for her age…much more than her girlfriends. I want her to love her body as it is now, and in the future. My middle grandaughter (age ten) is very petite and her skin coloring is a honey gold, like her daddy (whom is bi-racial). She is our little faerie fashionista…and want her to be happy with her body as well. Our baby girl is six and loves everything and as she grows, if those of us surrounding her, embrace ourselves, positively; she will do the same.
I want to to embrace my body as beautiful, the way it is…learning to love my ‘history’ and help my grandaughters and others to accept and know, from deep within themselves, that we all are beautiful. ..all shapes, sizes, skin imperfections or not, all skin types, shades and colors, all ages, etc… I want to like my body so I can allow others to look at me as beautiful, fulilled, confident, accepting, and even desirable…the way I am.
Thank you.
patti warfield…mom, gramma, and friend