“Ashamed and Embarrassed” That Her Daughter Posed For This Project?
I photographed a woman named Paula recently for A Beautiful Body Book Project and not one day had passed before I received this heart-wrenching email from her:
Paula’s Email:
I had to email. I just got off the phone with my mom and told her about my photoshoot with you for this project. She was horrified. ”Is this something my friends will see?” she asked in fear? ”Yes” I replied, “If they see the book or the project information online.”
“So this is online as well?!?” with even more disgust in her voice if that was even possible.
“Yes” I again replied, “and has received international attention.”
She proceeded to tell me how absolutely repulsed by obese women she is. She shared a story about how once in nursing school, she had to work on an obese woman and was so repulsed she would only eat salad and hard boiled eggs for a month. She then shared that she was so disgusted by her own body since gaining weight that she had refused to be naked in front of anyone, and had completely stopped dating or entering into any kind of a relationship - all because she was so disgusting.
I said, “Isn’t that kind of the whole point? My body is amazing, and it’s mine. It is the map of my experiences and existence. Why should I have to be disgusted by it because I am carrying more around than anyone else?”
You are doing good work and I am proud to have been a part of it. I knew walking in that my photo (I am pretty sure I am the largest woman you’ve photographed in the all-together for this project) would inspire a lot of criticism. But hopefully, by me standing strong and proud being who I am - someone won’t be quite so hard on themselves.
Thank you for being who you are, and doing what you do.
Love to all - (End of email)
Paula is an incredible woman. She is the proud mother of several beautiful children. Her husband adores her. He loves his wife and tells her she is beautiful. Paula is very involved in helping other women feel empowered.
I stand my ground: I think women need to empower other women to feel beautiful. Period. There is a lot of controversy around weight and the bottom line is this: One must feel empowered before she makes the next step towards the future. We must not shame each other. We must inspire one another because with the gracious offering of support towards one another, healing occurs. I choose healing. Do you?
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Comments
Paula…you’re beautiful. I’m sorry that your mother is so bound by her own fear. Good for you for standing your ground, for love of yourself, and for love of others. Perhaps your example will heal your mother over time. Just reading your words and witnessing your example has blessed me. Much respect.
Thank you dear for writing that to Paula! xo, Jade
Thank you for your kind words. It has been a long journey of acceptance to be able to get to a place where I was comfortable enough with self to do something like this. It is my hope that my image will be healing for others. Walk in Beauty
Paula,
Thank you for being so strong. Stronger than me to be comfortable in ur skin. I too was always told by my family that I am not good enough. Im a size 28 and am sad to say I am ashamed of myself… Its how i was raised.. Conditioned almost. My family always told me i was meant to be ugly and fat. it was gods plan. I help real woman feel beautiful. Im 34 now and have a husband who loves and accepts me. All of me. A 2 year old child who is full of life and adorable. By you posting this I can actually smile and maybe come closer to accepting myself.
Thank you.
Marie
Brave . Inspiring . So sad that your mother could not see the bigger picture . Paula her daughter is happy and confident in who she is and what she has become . I m a dad with three little girls and a beautiful wife . Body image is a mess in the world . I hope my little ladies can feel as beautiful as Paula . The mothers response is making me tearful so sad . As a Dad from a modesty stand point , I would be worried ,but in this context Paula is promoting femininity ! Confidence . Try and forget the negative . Be proud of who you are ladies !
What an awesome story. Thank you, I have been following your posts and pictures of real women, and well I will be like ya, they are small they are beautiful there is no “big” women. I am a big woman. I am happy with who I am. I am a fat healthy horse (it is what I tell my doctors, every time they mention I am not healthy) even though all of my tests prove that I am healthy. Yes I am morbidly obese for my height, but I still love me. I am an AWESOME person… and I am glad Paula is strong enough to show how awesome she is too. It rocks! Thank you for sharing and please keep it up. Paula, I am sorry for your mom because she has not come to terms in how awesome you are, and I am happy that your family (children and husband) support you. It is good to be loved. Share the LOVE… *happy smile* Thank you!
Absolutely beautiful. & I am so glad to know someone adores her & makes her feel gorgeous. Spreading the word.
Beautiful photos and heartbreaking story. She is beautiful and I feel sorry for the mother and her own unhealthy body image. I can relate to the mother story. I have always been larger than my petite, small-framed mother and often had to hear nasty comments made about my body starting when I was a child. It was her own self-hatred and criticism that she projected. Your project is so important, to let women see that their bodies are beautiful and normal, hopefully some that are hurting can learn to love themselves even more.
Thank you. That is my hope as well. No more hiding our true beautiful selves!
You are awesome! Never forget that! I love your photo! I am one of the lucky ones that are naturally thin and my heart hurts for those who have to fight so hard for any kind of weight control. I am so glad that you embrace who you are and have chosen to do the photo. I admire your self confidence! It is to be admired!
Thank you! Walk in Beauty…
It disgusts me that mothers can be so cruel to their children. My mother would criticize me every opportunity she got, so much so that I feel my hatred for my body is in direct relation to her.
I will never raise my children to believe they are not beautiful.
Thank you for your support. My mother is an amazing woman, who has traveled the world. The ultimate adventurer. But she has lost herself. I hope she can come to see these images as an inspiration of self acceptance. I will be eternally grateful for the gifts she has given me, and the challenges she has forced me to overcome. A-ho
FYI, I clicked on your picture because you are me. We are beautiful. Thank you.
Me too. I clicked on your picture because I thought it was a beautiful photograph.
Me too <3
Thank you. You inspire me! We are beautiful!
Paula,
You are incredibly beautiful! Inside and out! You are an inspiration to me and a million other women! Thank you for being brave and showing the world what true beauty is!
Thank you for your comment. Walk in beauty!
The only thing that her mother has to be ashamed about is the way she reacted to her daughter. Paula, you go girl!
Much Love to you, Paula and Jade! Everyone is so critical these days- too fat, too thin, too tall, too short…the ugliness is heart wrenching. I have been following the journey of the creation of this book and I can’t wait for it to be released. We don’t need to placate others because of their own hang-ups and insecurities. Good for you for standing up to your mother. Hopefully someday she’ll learn to love herself.
Paula, you’re beautiful and being a proud mother is the best present to give to a child. Your children are lucky. Thanks for your words!
Thank you. My daughter just posted my image from the photoshoot on her FB page. She said, “Incredibly proud of my mom! To have the confidence security with herself, and such self-love, makes me admire her more and more. For those of us, especially myself, who may struggle or have struggled with accepting ourselves or acknowledging our individual beauty while also feeling the pressures and stigmas of society, what a beautiful and honest reminder that each of us is different, beautiful, and independent examples of perfection. ♥”
I’ve done something right. 
<3
Your gorgeous!! Thank you for these images off your self and glimpse at your soul!! How inspiring!!
Dear Paula,
In your photo I see beauty and joy. And myself, and by looking at it I wish I could be photographed too and see myself the same way.
And in her shame and embarrassment your mother is only turning the loathing outward that was meant for herself.
Thank you. It helped that my husband was there smiling and supporting me, while my little guy was busy dismantling Jade yoga supplies. Sending love to you for your journey. You are beautiful.
Paula,
You ARE beautiful, inside and out…also strong beyond belief and a inspiration to women.
Thank you. That was my hope and dream.
Beautiful! I oray that one day your mother will be able to love herself as you do.
Thank you - me as well.
Sounds like Paula has the ability to love herself in spite of her mother’s horrible example of self-loathing. Paula, you are beautiful, and a wonderful example to your own children, as well as to your own mother. Pity she couldn’t be that for you. I’M proud of you, your mom can go suck hard-boiled eggs.
Thank you for your support. My mom has to figure out her own journey. She loves me and I know that. She just doesn’t understand. All I can do is be the best person I can be. I just remember how sacred each moment is, and how sad that we all loose so many of those moments to share, guilt, and hate. So here’s to LOVE all around!
This brought tears to my eyes. I suffered from bulimia for seven years and went to a rehabilitation center with women that had all kinds body shapes. Although I am not a curvy women per say, I have always maintained a normal weight even through my eating disorder. I was at my heaviest during while I was seeking help and my health insurance wouldn’t fund me because I was considered ” normal weight” and anyone who is of “normal weight” can never be considered as having an eating disorder. Paula, you are breathtaking, curves don’t define you, you define your curves. Much love, Jenna
WHOA!! curves don’t define you, you define your curves. Much love, Jenna
LOVE THAT!!! -Jade
Thank you.
That’s…horrifying. I hate medical insurance companies. There’s no PICTURE of an eating disorder. Men and women, all ages, all sizes, any of them can have an eating disorder. I’m so happy you got the help you needed, despite the insurance disaster.
“My body is amazing, and it’s mine. It is the map of my experiences and existence.”
My favorite quote from your email. Beautiful, powerful, true!!!!
Paula, you are beautiful and brave! I am ashamed of your mother for her words and actions, but also feel a great deal of pity for her. She is not truly living, and she is trying to put her fears and issues onto you. Stay strong, stay proud, and know that you are supported in this wonderful community Jade has created!
Thank you. I have been overwhelmed by the amazing support my image has generated. I am so glad to be a part of this movement. Let us all walk in Beauty
I actually feel the same about myself, as Paula’s mother feels about her. Hearing the words her mother said to her, broke my heart and brought me to tears. And it made me realize that there is no difference if the words come from someone else’s mouth, or from my own mind - they are still hurtful and painful to hear.
I can’t image saying these things to my child - as a parent, we are supposed to love unconditionally, no matter what are children appear to be on the outside. How sad for Paula to have to hear those painful remarks from the one person who should love her no matter what, and yet how powerful that Paula could rise above them and conquer!
Thank you. I hope that one day, you will rise above all the words, all the letters assembled to hurt, and just embrace who you are. There is no-one else like you on the planet. You are unique.
Paula, I’m, more or less, like you, may be the difference is that I don’t have babies, but… I’m really lucky… as you, my husband loves me as I am, and never try to change me. Be strong for your family, but, first of all, for yourself, you better that we can see in this beautiful photo !!! Kisses from Barcelona, Spain.
WOW! Thank you!
All women birth - be they children or ideas or self transformation. It is our nature. Rejoice in the creatrix you are! And kisses right back! 
Oh my! I read this and cried, is so horrible to hear your own mother talk about you with disgust…. I’ve been there and brakes my heart everytime… The woman is not going to change, she has been the same way since always…. Way to go Paula, you are beautifull
I am so thankful to my mother. She birthed me into this beautiful life. Her words can be hurtful, but she sees them as her truth. I hope this series of photographs and mine in particular can help her see beauty everywhere. Thank you for your support!
Your awesome Paula……
Thank you.
Paula… as I read your story tears came to my eyes. At first I thought they were for you and the pain your mother caused you. By the time I finished your letter, I realized I was crying for your mother and her tight, little heart. My daughter-in-law was also photographed by Jade Beall. ALL the women she photographed exude an ethereal quality: love of self, I think, will do this.
(My daughters are all mothers; they have given their body over to the selfless “task” of allowing God to create a miracle.)
I just want to hug you. LOL - my words cannot adequately express my feelings. Thank you for being the inspiration to your daughters, and your daughters friends, and your daughters mothers and to your friends, and the people you meet on the street, and and and
(And I can’t wait to see the images Jade takes of you! 
Jade: I am 68 years old. I have white hair and wrinkles. I like to dress nicely and wear makeup to enhance my looks, but do not feel the need to dye my hair or have botox or plastic surgery. I embrace my age all I have gained, inside and out. I wonder if you’d be interested in photographing older women, since there are no pictures of us in any magazines. I subscribed to MORE once because it is supposed to be for older women. Fifty is as “old” as they go, and all their ads feature YOUNG models. Sad to reach this age and find we are irrelevant.
YES!!! Currently, the wisest women for my book is 86. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever see. I would LOVE to photo you….. love love love…
Ah Sylvia, I sure hope 68 is not old because I have way to many plans for fun things to do over the next 20 to 30 years and being old at 68 just won;t work for me. So, I hope you find a place that will accept your offer to be photographed so everyone can see the true beauty of maturity also. Age is a big part of people’s body image along with weight and other things. Beauty is, as they say, in the eye of the beholder. I sure hope that one day, more people will open their eyes and see what is truly beautiful. Power and wisdom, grace and confidence are things that often come with age. Those things are truly beautiful. For a photographer to capture those things is an art, and I hope you can find one capable of doing that for you.
Yes! To everything you said. I am going to be a grandmother in October! I am so excited - every time I think about it I can’t speak straight. I hope I can live up to the amazing example of love and wisdom I received from my grandparents.
I am 5′ 4″. I weigh 320 lbs. I am morbidly obese. I love myself. I would pose naked for you. I am beautiful.
Yes, you are.
Thank you for your support.
Paula, you rock. Don’t let your mother get you down. Keep up the good work!
Thank you!
beautiful body indeed, you’re a rockstar Paula
BB
Thank you! How did you know I sing?
Paula, I’ve always thought you were beautiful. Your smile lights up a room, you’re intelligent, capable, a beautiful singer/song writer, and a loving mother. You’ve always carried yourself with confidence and joy. I love and envy your photo and hope that someday I will have the self love to do the same. Blessed Be!
Thank you for being such a wonderful inspiration of creativity, grace and personal strength. Expect hugs next time I see you.
I love it, and here photo is beautiful! I love how she calls it a “map of her experiences.” I am closer and closer to feeling that way about mine. It’s been through a lot and holds many secrets and stories to tell. I am 232 pounds, 5 feet 11 inches. In the range where doctors consider you overweight (I know, because my own doctor told me so.) But my husband tells he’s even more attracted to me now, than when I was 180 pounds (when we first met) I have begun to love my body, thanks to God, you (Jade), all the women you have photographed, Voluptuous Vixens and Naked Faces (group on Facebook) Thank you so much!
Thank you for this! I am also a big woman and have struggled with body image. You have inspired me and we need more people who think this way!
I really relate to this story. My mom has always projected her poor self-image on me. She has lived her life dieting and obsessing about her dress size. NOT ME!
I have 3 beautiful children, and a husband who loves me for me ( and I’m a size 14). But my mom always brings up my weight.
I look at Paula, and I see a beautiful woman. Just as beautiful as any other woman. I tell my children everyday just how beautiful and special they are. We are all beautiful.
Paula, I have tears in my eyes reading your story. You are amazingly gorgeous, inside and out, and an inspiration to all women of all size to accept the body they have now. Not in thirty pounds, not 15 years ago. NOW! I’m a woman of incredible size (yeah, I said incredible, wanna meet me? You’ll agree
) and I’ve considered very much volunteering for Jade. I would love to do it as well! Then you won’t be the largest, it would be me! And we can rock the rolls together. Cheers to you, gorgeous lady!
This story moves me to tears - of sadness for Paula’s mother, of compassion for all women who feel that being larger than “normal” makes them ugly, and deep gratitude to Paula for sharing herself so lovingly and honoring both her own body, and ALL women’s bodies in being photographed. And gratitude to you, Jade, for being devoted to beauty, and sharing your vision of beauty with us all.
Paula, your breakthrough of being photographed and loving yourself as you are is a breakthrough for thousands, if not millions, of women. All the tears you read about here are tears of healing. Jade, words can’t express my gratitude. This project is a game-changer for millions of women everywhere. I am blessed to have a husband who also tells me I am beautiful, even at 57 with some excess weight. Yet I never believed it until I saw this project. Every woman deserves to believe she is beautiful and to see the beauty in herself.
I, too, have a mother who is ashamed and embarrassed by what I have shared online, both in words and in photos. So I understand. As I told my mother, “when you choose to feel ashamed and embarrassed, you get to feel ashamed and embarrassed. Those are your feelings, not mine. They are your choice. I choose to be proud of myself…and to love not only myself, but you, and so I get to feel pride and love.”
She told me that she was trying to protect me (I am, by the way, now 50 years old) and what I finally recognized is that she was trying to protect herself.
Much love to you…and to your mother. Because it feels good to love.
Part of me wonders if the mother’s reaction is part shame in her own body and jealousy of a daughter who has exceeded her own ability to love her body. Kudos to Paula-don’t let anyone dull your shine.
Wow… I cant say much now, you are who you are and you’re proud of it and I’m proud of you! I keep telling my friends that they dont need to be what the media tells them to be but they never listen… It’s like they’ve been brainwashed… ¬¬ I hope you keep on inspiring!
This is a beautiful community of women rallying behind other women. The way it should be. Paula’s mother’s reaction draws the contrast- the ugliness that is our there in the world and in women’s hearts and self-image. Thank you Jade for carving out this safe space in the world. Thank you Paula for being brave and beautiful and owning all of it! I held it together until I read your daughter’s post. Wouldn’t we all love to leave the same legacy of self-love and self-respect to our daughters. You should be doubly proud of yourself. This project is a profound stepping into the light. Good work ladies!
Paula, you are beautiful and courageous. You are so right-your body is a map, whatever its size, and we all need to love our bodies. Thank you so much for participating in Jade’s project. I am so, so proud of you; maybe this project will help your mother not to hate her own body so much. I’ve got nothing but love for you! Thank you for sharing your story. I wouldn’t have guessed it-you just look so radiant!
I am in awe of my sister-in-law. Her confidence and spirit are evident in her photo. She is an amazing woman with a heart of gold and she carries herself with grace. Even at 5’3 and 108lbs, I have struggled with my body image and I do not have half the confidence that Paula has. She, and the other women involved in this project, send a powerful message to all women; We are beautiful.
Paula, your mom is an asshole. I’m glad the apple fell FAR, FAR, FAR, away from that tree. I love you AND your amazing body. ROCK ON GIRLFRIEND! I’m a size 4, and you have given me inspiration.
A beautiful picture of a beautiful woman. I love this project. In Belgium they label me as thick, in America they say I am petit. That opened my eyes.
The way you look at yourself determines how you look like.
Greetings
This is a beautiful image of a beautiful bodied person. No if and, or buts about it. Not only is the image captured incredibly artistic, but (unfortunately) very controversial due to socially constructed ideas (fat phobia) with regard to size. I have gone through so much body shape re-sizing since giving birth to my 17 month old son. I unintentionally lost a lot of weight (health issues). The amount of fat phobic comments that were intended to celebrate my body really just fell flat in my heart. Most people did not want to hear that I was actually healthier when I was bigger. I love my body, in all its many shapes, especially since giving birth. All of the models represented here, really help me to encourage that pride to grow deeper. Thank you Paula and Jade. This piece of work is very powerful.
I look at this picture and I am struck by the fact that I get to put my arms around her beautiful body every night. Our 3-year-old son wakes us up every morning, and he is a reflection of our love of each other and our love of our selves.
I needed to hear this today, thanks Paula. Having my own body image issues right now and really needed to hear from a positive person. Thank you again!
I feel gratitude towards the women who have commented on this beautiful picture of Paula; you have all given me inspiration to put my logical mind on hold and express my adoration for her from the heart. The object of my affection is not a static, unchanging, idealistic statue (or even a photograph); she is dynamic, powerful, and a new kind of beautiful every day!
wow! what an amazing picture! i love the energy and message that it radiates and i think you are truly stunning! …and you have such a kind and wise attitude towards what you had to overcome and the people that hurt you … thank you for teaching me a lesson…because you did!…much love and peace and wonderful energy to you and your loved ones….conny from walnut creek in california <3
But… You are beautiful ! This photograph is gorgeus and you have a beautiful smile ! Never change because of the others if you are fine with your body ! Love you ! XXX
Beautiful, inspiring photos and words. Thank you for doing this!
Good for you Paula that you broke free of your mom’s phobias! I wish my own had seen past her’s in order to see I had a medical condition that caused me more pain and greif as I got older until I was bedridden and in cycles of constant pain before 40. The day after my 40th birthday a nutritionist happened to diagnose me with irritable bowl syndrome. Went from 5pills a day for everything from asthma to anxiety, to a probiotic a day a vitamin D. Dropped 20 lbs in a month just from swelling and dropping the FODMAP foods that were making me sick. Had anyone in my family looked past my “puchie stomach ” or anyother sign, I would not have suffered so long. Thanks be to God I married a man 5 years earlier who loved me AND my body no matter what changes it underwent and he gave me courage to fight back to health.
PS- Am happy to say I am a slim and sexy size 18 now!
The same thing happened to me when I found out I had celiac disease! Cut the things out of my diet that were keeping me sick every day and preventing me from absorbing nutrients, and I dropped 30 lbs just from that. Sure, I lost a little weight. I’m a size 18 now, and still slowly dropping, but the important thing for is that I’m HEALTHY now. Not because I lost a few pounds, but because I’m not sick, exhausted, miserable and irritable any more. My hair isn’t falling out…no more uncontrollable muscle twitching, unexplained toothaches, constant infections of different parts of my body or extremely painful rash on my arms, no more infertility (I hope…that hasn’t actually been tested yet), no more debilitating abdominal pain and digestive issues that left me hating the idea of eating AND going to the bathroom, every day. I have energy. I actually am able to do things like exercise and take my daughter bike riding because I’m not exhausted and in pain all the time. I feel good, and that to me is a LOT more important than being thin enough to make other people happy. They don’t know me. They don’t know my body, or what it’s been through. Why do they feel the need to judge me?
You are beautiful! I commend you for standing up and recognizing that we are all different, but beautiful at the same time. Your Mother should be so proud of you! I would be! I have been thin and I’ve been large….we are so busy beating ourselves up instead of embracing who we are. As long as you love and accept yourself! Go for it!
Paula you are indeed beautiful. I applaud your courage and the fact that you are comfortable in your own skin. I know women who are sizes 6 and less who would not do what you did because they are so critical of their bodies and fear the opinons of others. We forget that the way you look used to be the gold standard for beauty. You GO! You are an example for all women and I bet you are a hell of a mother!
I’m sorry, you can take as many pictures of overweight women I don’t care. But she is unhealthy! Obesity is not something to overlook! Stay healthy, eat right, and exercise.
Being healthy and exercising is indeed healthy! I agree with you. But that does not determine one’s irreplaceable beauty. I promote self-confidence so that we can be the very best version of ourselves we can be through self-love, non-shaming and support. Freedom from judgment, name calling and making one feel like a failure is my goal. We will be healthy: as soon as we love ourselves. That is a practice. We as a global community must cultivate it. May we learn to ask, how can I help you be the best version of yourself so that you feel loved instead preach our personal stories upon others. THAT is true health in my book.
There are a lot of assumptions about over weight people. For the record, I have normal blood pressure. I am not diabetic or pre-diabetic. My cholesterol levels are good. I don’t smoke, take any medications or drink. I don’t have asthma and my cholesterol levels are good. I am active - walking, hiking, biking, gardening, landscaping and chasing around my toddler. We even work out at least three times a week with various exercise videos. My organs and joints are healthy. My family eats almost 100% organically I have more energy than the majority of skinny people I know. I just happen to be carrying a bit more than most other people. It is a major misconception that fat people are unhealthy.
Thank you for your concern. Walk in Beauty
you are so damn beautiful Paula and nothing more needs to be said.. i love you.
Inspired by your strength and confidence. I hope for you, and more importantly for your mother, that she learns first acceptance, then pride in you and your self-knowledge.
Thank you Paula and Jade, for making this world better for all of us. Your courage to be who you are, to embrace your body, and to know how to love yourself, is so admirable. I hope that more women of large sizes like us can be photographed like this, to transform ourselves and the world, so that we as a people can begin to alter our way of viewing ‘big’. You set a great example for women who need to see what this project says: That every body is beautiful. Thank you.
Paula,
Your photo is pure beauty. I hope your mother, and EVERY other woman who thinks she is “less than” for whatever reason is inspired by your photo and Jade’s work. This is good stuff and the love just oozes from your photo, and this whole project. Many Thanks and MUCH love to you <3
Stunning.
Moved to tears after reading this and viewing such a beautiful photograph.You rock! May your mom some day find your spirit in herself!
Paula,
You are beautiful! What truly defines beauty is our confidence and acceptance of ourselves.
I ask you to stay healthy so your children may enjoy your wisdom for years to come.
I lost my mom in 2010, she struggled with her weight and body image her whole life. No matter what size we come in..be healthy god only gives us one body.