A Daughter's Last Photoshoot Before Cancer's Finality: Elizabeth Blue

Elizabeth Blue

In November 2011, a woman in my community, Lucia Maya, called me a few weeks before I was due to give birth to see if I would photograph her young daughter who was undergoing chemotherapy. I was so honored to shoot Elizabeth Blue yet struggled to summon my tired and heavy pregnant body to get to the studio to document such a vulnerable, exquisitely beautiful and painful moment in one family’s lives...

(To read & imagine Elizabeth’s own voice, read her poem at the bottom of this post)

My own pregnancy was taking everything I had, and until I gave birth, I realized I had to take a hiatus from my work. What many people may not know is that each and every shoot I do with women requires an enormous amount of my physical and emotional reserves. Often, after I am done with a shoot, and joyously have listened and immersed myself in a women’s story, I have to sit alone, in quiet, to absorb, digest, reflect, even before beginning the editing process. I realized I might only have had that one chance to photograph Elizabeth, and that that opportunity might have passed me by.

But a month or so after I gave birth in February of 2012, I reached out to Lucia Maya to check how they were doing and to see if I could have a second chance? And sometimes in life, we are blessed to get such second chances! Lucia Maya didn’t hesitate to say yes and we made a date to make beauty on April 13th 2012. ”Elizabeth Blue had finished her chemo and was doing very well,” she informed me!

When we took these photos we were celebrating. She was free from cancer, life was luminous in her spirit, in her skin, in her breath. She was humble yet confidant when she stepped onto my white paper backdrop, an amazing feat considering what she had gone through. She made it effortless for me to photograph her. She made me cry; I had never seen such beauty through my lens. I told her it was the first time in my life that I felt like a hip New York City photographer photographing a high style Fashion Model. I felt proud to document this gorgeous moment. I admired her.

Only 5 months later, however, I learned of Elizabeth Blue’s departure on September 23rd 2012 at a much too young 22 years old. I cried while holding my 7 month old son in disbelief that her beauty in physical form was no more. Instantly, in that moment, I realized I could not imagine outliving my own son. Questions swirled in my heart wondering what Lucia Maya was experiencing, feeling, after watching, assisting, and caring for her daughter as she transitioned on. Can our minds even begin to comprehend or explore this possibility without actually having gone through it? The very inkling of an idea of Sequoia dying so young feels like a vice on my heart. How does one heal?

Ever since, Lucia Maya had not shared many of the photos we took on that blessed day in April. And then recently she changed course, and asked if I would share some of Elizabeth Blue’s photos and poetry on this new media platform my husband and I have created called A Beautiful Body Project? She explained that she felt Elizabeth Blue was asking her to share her photos, her story, her words, to inspire beauty in others. With new eyes, I revisited that gallery of photos and took my sweet time culling through them, trying to open my heart to be guided by what Elizabeth Blue might have want to offer all of you.

As this post in memory of this inspiring soul-who-is-no-longer-with-us has come to life, I have been reflecting on the power of photography in a new way: In the days following the shoot, these images captured her in remission, yet the reality was, her time, in that moment, was actually very limited. I realize now, every time I photograph a woman, it may be the first, last, and only time she steps in front of my lens and it has deepened further my commitment to you. Those very same images have stories that rewrote themselves in the days, weeks, and months since. Such is the life of photographs, I understand more clearly than ever now.

Although this is a story of loss, it’s actually much more about life! About BEAUTY! About feeling irreplaceable and self-confident in one’s own gorgeous skin, just as we are right now. It’s about sharing our vulnerability so that we may truly feel the gift of being alive and being of service to one another. This story is confirmation that beauty is everywhere, if we only look with our authentic eyes. These photos beg you to love yourself so that you may celebrate life in all it’s embodiments. When I look at these images, I see in her confident eyes a profound, unexplainable knowledge that life is more precious than most of us truly know. I find myself “drunk”, gazing at Elizabeth Blue’s soft hair on her perfectly round head because I cannot think of anything more beautiful. I find myself bathed in gratitude that I had the honor to be the record keeper of this particular, irreplaceably beautiful moment. -Jade

Elizabeth Blue is a gifted poet, beginning writing wisdom-filled poetry at only 9 years old. Here is a piece she wrote when she was 14 years old:

A Lifetime

I want,
To quote Rumi.
I want to say one thousand words of thanks.
I want
To throw
One million rose petals in the air.
I want
To kiss the sky.
I want God to know that I am grateful
I want to be humbled by the sheer knowledge of what is.
I want to blow into one million pieces, and dedicate myself to the world.
I want to say thank you,
And mean it.
I want to tell the world,
The universe,
That my Indian lover is
The sky
The moon
And the sea.
I want you to know that beauty is everlasting,
And that I am only a temporary placement of outer beauty.
I want you to know that the beauty inside me is everlasting.
And I want you to know that I did not create this.
And,
I created some.
I want you to know that eternity is forever, and then more.
I want you to know that ‘me’ is just a figure of speech.
I want you to know that I love you.
And that life,
Today,
Was one of those days worth living.

©Elizabeth Blue

***

If this piece on my journey with Elizabeth Blue touched you, please consider pre-ordering Volume 1: Mothers and/or becoming a member. That is how I keep this platform free for millions around the world to help them heal. (See links at the top of this page)

Clicking the share buttons on this page to spread this story to anyone else you know who may be affected by cancer, disease, loss, and beyond. This work is incredibly powerful for me and to the 1000′s it touches.

Also please consider leaving a respectful comment below building a profile.

Thank you,

-Jade (Founder :: A Beautiful Body Project)

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Showing 47 reactions


commented 2013-08-18 09:15:14 -0700 · Flag
How can someone so young write such beauty? Was her destiny already written in her soul?
I’m drawn in by her eyes, they speak so clearly.
To Lucia, what a beautiful daughter she was. I hope all the memories that you have, let you re live your love, over and over.
commented 2013-08-18 09:11:08 -0700 · Flag
Thank you for reminding us to be grateful for life. The story, the photos and the poem are very touching. How impressive this poem was written when she was only 14 years old. I am looking forward to exploring your project more!
commented 2013-08-18 08:10:18 -0700 · Flag
Much love to you and Lucia. There is such depth and confidence, wisdom and peace in Elizabeth’s gorgeous eyes. Wonderful shots, wonderful thoughts and exquisite poetry.
commented 2013-08-18 07:04:20 -0700 · Flag
Grace and dignity igniting her beauty, what a great set of photographs.
commented 2013-08-18 06:45:01 -0700 · Flag
I am stunned by the generosity of spirit that allowed Lucia Maya to share her beloved daughter and their story. I am humbled by the beauty of the poetry, the spirt and the beauty of your pictures. Thank you
commented 2013-08-18 06:16:09 -0700 · Flag
Beautiful photographs and a beautiful story. I’m thankful you shared and I could read a little about Elizabeth Blue’s life.
commented 2013-08-18 05:41:50 -0700 · Flag
Thank you for this story! Cancer knows no boundaries. It
Sucks, and it isn’t fair.
commented 2013-08-18 05:04:07 -0700 · Flag
I did not know what I would find here, but I have been humbled greatly by this story; my family has also been touched with cancer…my son who is now in remission and preparing to go out in life again. Thank you so much for sharing your perspective on this.
commented 2013-08-18 04:55:43 -0700 · Flag
No words… Just sheer emotion from my heart and everlasting beauty imprinted on my eyes. Thank you.. Xo
commented 2013-08-18 04:12:57 -0700 · Flag
oh my god thank’s everything you give so beautiful
commented 2013-08-18 01:06:04 -0700 · Flag
The more we talk about this the more people understand how it feels ifacing cancer the more they enjoy life’s every moment as a gift. Thank you!!. I lost my husband july 2012 he wanted me to complete his project of an exhibition about life and cancer…see us in the web by searching “la storia di Andrea Besana” . Much love to all people superino and people who give them support. Michaela
commented 2013-08-17 21:06:30 -0700 · Flag
Thank you….for honoring Elizabeth with this profound exposure. What we gain from her world is evidence of an ecstatic spirit who has and will continue to touch many lives. Three beautiful souls - you, Lucia and Elizabeth whose gaze will remain a part of my memory for the rest of my life.
commented 2013-08-17 20:59:25 -0700 · Flag
Tremendous work, tremendous passion, tremendous beauty, tremendous love… and tremendous, heartbreaking loss. Thank you, Elizabeth, and her mother Lucia for sharing this tender glimpse of a life well-lived.
commented 2013-08-17 20:56:42 -0700 · Flag
It brought tears as well a deep thoughts that what we are going through right now is never a permanent but a temporary I am speaking from my present hurdles i have to jump right now. When we are face with our own mortality we realize all the time we wasted being not satisfied and focus on that imperfection we see in the mirror instead of embracing each day if it was our last day >i
commented 2013-08-16 19:41:39 -0700 · Flag
What a beautiful soul. Both you and Elizabeth. What awesome work you do. And how profound he poetry.
commented 2013-08-16 16:43:03 -0700 · Flag
OMG, I can not find the words to tell you how beautiful this is your work I mean and how beautiful and Awakened Elizabeth Blue was at such an early age.thank you for sharing
commented 2013-08-16 16:22:50 -0700 · Flag
Elizabeth Blue was obviously Awakened at an early age and she came and offered her gifts of Enlightenment and then was released back into the Universe. The evidence of what I speak is in the poem above written when she was 14 years old. She’s touched as many people in 22 years as some have in 80. She is a Light of Love and I, for one, feel grateful to have been touched by her. Thank you Jade Beall for being the one who brought her Light to the rest of us. Namaste~~
commented 2013-08-16 02:18:23 -0700 · Flag
What a sad story…
The pictures and model are as beautiful as cancer is just a piece of Shit…
commented 2013-08-15 18:53:23 -0700 · Flag
I have a similar story: While I was studying in photography, we had an assignment to organise a first ‘real’ portrait session. This girl I knew a bit through poetry events was really motivated to give me some of her time and energy. We had a great shooting, the pictures are beautiful because we feel in those images her youth, her freeness, her sincerity. A year later, she told me she was suffering from a cervical cancer. Even if she was well reacting to the treatments, a couple of months later, she cancer was back furiously. She died at 23 years old. Born the same year, I cried holding my four months baby, this creative and original women. At the funeral, I gave to her mother the pictures I took. My mother told me it would be the best gift someone could have given her in those circumstances. No parent should bury his children. Life is precious, and those stories reminds us violently. My friend had the time to write two books during her treatments, to follow her : Vicky Gendreau.
commented 2013-08-15 17:50:59 -0700 · Flag
I have a lump in my throat after reading this. I have 2 lovely girls and the thought of any of us having to endure a journey such as this is WAY too much to bear. My heart goes out to them….
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