I photographed a woman named Paula recently for A Beautiful Body Book Project and not one day had passed before I received this heart-wrenching email from her.
Paula’s Email:
I had to email. I just got off the phone with my mom and told her about my photoshoot with you for this project. She was horrified. ”Is this something my friends will see?” she asked in fear? ”Yes” I replied, “If they see the book or the project information online.”
“So this is online as well?!?” with even more disgust in her voice if that was even possible.
“Yes” I again replied, “and has received international attention.”
She proceeded to tell me how absolutely repulsed by obese women she is. She shared a story about how once in nursing school, she had to work on an obese woman and was so repulsed she would only eat salad and hard boiled eggs for a month. She then shared that she was so disgusted by her own body since gaining weight that she had refused to be naked in front of anyone, and had completely stopped dating or entering into any kind of a relationship – all because she was so disgusting.
I said, “Isn’t that kind of the whole point? My body is amazing, and it’s mine. It is the map of my experiences and existence. Why should I have to be disgusted by it because I am carrying more around than anyone else?”
She couldn’t say she was proud of me, only ashamed. And embarrassed.
You are doing good work and I am proud to have been a part of it. I knew walking in that my photo (I am pretty sure I am the largest woman you’ve photographed in the all-together for this project) would inspire a lot of criticism. But hopefully, by me standing strong and proud being who I am – someone won’t be quite so hard on themselves.
Thank you for being who you are, and doing what you do.
Love to all – (End of email)
Paula is an incredible woman. She is the proud mother of several beautiful children. Her husband adores her. He loves his wife and tells her she is beautiful. Paula is very involved in helping other women feel empowered.
I stand my ground: I think women need to empower other women to feel beautiful. Period. There is a lot of controversy around weight and the bottom line is this: One must feel empowered before she makes the next step towards the future. We must not shame each other. We must inspire one another because with the gracious offering of support towards one another, healing occurs. I choose healing. Do you? -Jade Beall
Please consider pre-ordering Volume 1: Mothers and/or becoming a member. That is how I keep this platform free for millions around the world to help them heal. Please don't assume others will step up. You matter.
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Katie Sutton commented
2013-09-09 11:04:40 -0700
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I love you both. Awesome work. Do not fear your mothers comments. Be sad for her because she can’t see beyond the hate. Wonderful for you that you did this and love yourself.
Angela Vanden Tak commented
2013-09-09 10:27:48 -0700
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You are beautiful. And people like you give strength to those of us who still struggle with self-love, and help us remember our value. Never feel ashamed of that. Thank you for being a part of this.
Kenneth Blaine commented
2013-09-09 10:22:06 -0700
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doing a good thing people need to be more secure in who they are recently lost large amount due to sickness miss my bigger size people assume it is ok to make jokes to me then get offended when i defend others who are not “HOT” paula is a brave woman
D Dawn Green commented
2013-09-09 10:22:02 -0700
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Whoever took the pictures of you did a wonderful job. They show you as a beautiful person with joy. There is nothing disgusting about any of the poses or even nude. In fact the nude is secondary. What I noticed with the beautiful expression on your face and how you were posed. It just makes each of the pictures beautiful.
Your inner self shines through and in shining through makes your physical self so… wow.
There is nothing to be ashamed of and I am sorry you were told such painful comments but don’t let it get you down.
Your pictures are tasteful and beautiful art.
Your inner self shines through and in shining through makes your physical self so… wow.
There is nothing to be ashamed of and I am sorry you were told such painful comments but don’t let it get you down.
Your pictures are tasteful and beautiful art.
Lashley Mitchell commented
2013-09-09 08:27:59 -0700
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Get in shape, the three words I hated most. I have a shape, it is called an hourglass. I have thighs, they are not thunderous, and if I can’t see between them, well at least I know they are strong enough to support me. I hope you do another book for those of us who aren’t mothers. The older teens and young twenties. I constantly feel shamed, embarrassed and hurt by the looks and actions of others. I am under 25 and not a size 8, not even a 12 and my body has stretch marks and scars from being an active person. I believe I am pretty, I don’t know if I will ever feel beautiful.
Please, make a book for those of us who are taunted and hurting by others. Please continue your amazing work.
Paula, moms know which strings to pluck, they placed them in our hearts, that doesn’t make them right. You are beautiful and your children will be happier knowing that their mom is loving, not just of their inner selves and her inner self, But of the outer selves too.
Please, make a book for those of us who are taunted and hurting by others. Please continue your amazing work.
Paula, moms know which strings to pluck, they placed them in our hearts, that doesn’t make them right. You are beautiful and your children will be happier knowing that their mom is loving, not just of their inner selves and her inner self, But of the outer selves too.
Erica Barham commented
2013-09-09 07:14:04 -0700
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I am so heart broken to know a mother can say such unkind words to their child. Paula, you are beautiful in every way!
Jai Hendrix Westgard commented
2013-09-08 18:34:22 -0700
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I love this! thank you, thank you, thank you. I cannot wait to show my daughter.
Dianne Bordoh commented
2013-09-08 16:54:28 -0700
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Your mom is one of the reasons this project is so important! DO NOT LET HER DESTROY YOU,
Mike Keller commented
2013-09-08 15:45:16 -0700
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It is readily apparent from the email that it is her Mother that has the problem.
Michelle Seyner commented
2013-09-07 20:39:25 -0700
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I have fallen in love with this project. Thank you for showing me all of us women have their own special beauty.
Jeannette Phelan commented
2013-09-07 19:11:10 -0700
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You are living proof that we are all Goddess’s……….dance on, girlfriend!
Bentley J. commented
2013-09-07 12:40:03 -0700
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Paula. I’m so sorry your mom feels that way. Of all the spiritual sickness. God bless you for not judging and condemning her, and most of all for continuing to make her a part of your life while not believing in her misconceptions. You are helping to heal her.
Sandra Finlay commented
2013-09-07 11:11:29 -0700
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Message to the model: You are absolutely a beautiful woman. Thank you for having the self-confidence and self-worth to not only model for these pictures but to have them published. You are an inspiration to all women with the “not so perfect” body that is dictated by our society and media. Way to go. For the photographer: Thank you for allowing us to see that beauty can be found in everyone. You are amazing.
Liz Linkenauger commented
2013-09-07 09:00:47 -0700
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The confidence she has is easily noticeable in these photos. The fact that her mother cannot see the beauty and confidence in her daughter is owned solely by her mother. Carry on. This project is amazing.
Luna Nordstrom commented
2013-09-07 07:35:53 -0700
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You are beautiful, Paula. My petite mom is also ashamed of my fat, and I grew up with the same comments that others are posting. My parents used the word ‘heavy’, (with a slight pause and breathiness,) as if that was somehow kinder. I didn’t start to embrace myself until I was in my late twenties; I discovered American bellydancing, where women of all sizes are welcomed and encouraged and loved for their dancing. Twenty years later and sometimes it’s still a struggle to be positive about how my body looks (which has not particularly changed size since highschool, even with 2 kids,) but my husband and my girls think I’m beautiful.
