Words of Aida H. in Canada: The idea of doing this shoot was exciting. I was hoping to feel liberated from societies standards of what is beautiful and have the confidence to expose myself. But immediately when Mai had the camera at the ready and I was in my underwear I had the urge to cover up. To hide from her. This was unexpected, I live my life like an open book, honest with no secrets, true to who I am and I always speak my mind. So I was surprised at myself, especially since I feel like I've known Mai forever. It was harder than I expected.
Once I did come out of hiding, my fear subsided. What was I scared of? I'm really not sure. I'm not one to be afraid of the judgements of others, maybe I felt like I really was sharing something intimate and I was being vulnerable, giving the photographer the power and control to use the light and composition to capture a moment.
Letting go of that fear of lack of control was freedom. Not the freedom I initially expected, but it felt wonderful!
Looking through the photos I am enjoying them. My mind is disregarding things I might not appreciate the look of and bouncing around the areas of my body that I do love. Seeing the photos created this wholehearted belief that it is what it is, why not be proud of it? I can't think of an answer to that question anymore. My body has done me good. Really good. It has done everything it was designed to do, for this I will be eternally grateful.
There are parts of my body that I do not appreciate as much as other parts, but I would never say I hate any part of my physical self. I sometimes hate how I have behaved or treated my body. But it is all on me, all the things I hate I was responsible for. My body isn't vindictive, or conniving, it is purposeful and comical. It provides for me with only good intention, it has never wronged me. I am self conscious of my belly, my boobs, how they have changed since becoming a mother. I have never had a flat belly, but after pregnancy it is more loose and wider in the waist. My breasts not as perky, the skin not as elastic. But I feel as though my body and I did a trade. My body created this amazing little creature, and with it an unimaginable amount of love and the ability to provide food for my little one. Giving up this image of "the perfect stomach" and "perky breasts" is a small price to pay for what I gained.
I love the little things that make my body unique. The mole on my chest, the two freckles on my right thumb, the way my snaggletooth gives me a crooked smile. These things belong to me, they may not be perfect but I accept them for what they are and have grown fond of them.
My body, my mind, my spirit - we have travelled and journeyed together for 30 years, I have not always appreciated my body and that makes me so sad. I feel cheated and robbed of the opportunity to love and appreciated what I had before I had my baby because my body is different now and it will never be the same. I mourn for my past self, but I can hold on to that regret all my life and never experience love for my body. Or I can chose to forgive my younger self and move on, make room for the love and let go of the regret. I am choosing the latter and jumping in with uninhibited vigour!
I am very excited for a future with my body. For each day presenting challenges and opportunities in our relationship. I am looking forward to making up for lost time, for giving her the love she deserves and watching her change. Because she will change. I want to carry with me the physical, psychological and spiritual changes I have gone though in the last few years, into the future. I vow to wear these new aspects of myself like a hat, to showcase them with pride.”
-Mailyne Briggs is a Photographer and Mother based in Ottawa, Canada. She tries to capture women just as they are, encouraging them to only be themselves in front of her lens. You can find more of her at: http://www.dreamlovegrow.com
You can also pre-order The Bodies Of Mothers, Jade's book, by clicking the tab in the upper left corner of this page! Thanks!