My yoga practice has gone out the door. With it has gone rising early and eating mostly raw food. I am 2 months pregnant, unmarried and just today I signed up for the first time in my life for AHCCCS (a state health-care for poor folk) and food stamps.

And yet…

And yet I work for myself. I run my very own dance and photography studio. I have clients who pay me well for massages even when they have tight pockets themselves. I have a 15-foot blooming Jasmine bush in my apartment.

I may not make enough money to have my own health care, and yet I am constantly surrounded by radically juicy Love from my Tribe, from my family and community which, if not pregnant, is my health-care.

Standing and sitting in line today for over 4 hours for my “interview” for state health-care and food-stamps, I had no choice but to drop to my knees and give PRASIE to Great Spirit for facilitating such a Beautiful Life for me. I was surrounded by hundreds of people with whom I normally have zero contact with. The collection of people in the office instantly made me realize that even though I am a pretty Global Citizen, I basically live in a bubble surrounded by incredibly positive and abundant folks. Just because I need help with bringing this baby into the world financially does not mean that I am in a desperate situation. Just because I have little materially does not mean that I am not Abundant in my Spirit and outlook on LIFE. On the contrary to feeling desperate, I am so grateful for the available help and I feel honored to receive financial support. And good thing I went to apply today, because AHCCCS ends for people like me (single with no current children) July 1st. My Birthday.

I am all about re-defining how I show up for all of this. As I type this, I feel like I may puke at any moment. My “morning sickness” lingers like an overweight and depressed relative clinging to my weary chest all day long. I tell myself that I am fine, I am not dying, and after a puke or two, I move along with my day. I massage my clients trying not to inhale because just about everything, even the scent of my own skin, makes me gag. I don’t WANT to be sick! I cannot AFORD to be sick so my mantra is: surrender. SURRENDER SURRENDER SURRENDER!!! I pretend this intense feeling of nausea could very possibly feel orgasmic! Maybe, just maybe, in some other dimension, nausea IS an orgasm! Just maybe… I am here to re-define it, folks. It’s all I can do.

They tell me I will feel like Wonder Woman after 12 weeks of making this little human inside of my belly.

And soon…

I will return to my yoga practice. I will make my kale salads again. I will return to my comfort zone as an Authentic Being.

And I will be an amazing Mother.

Everywhere I go, even standing in line today for 4 hours for health care and food stamps, I see Beauty.

I have the honor of knowing Exquisitely and Authentically Beautiful Sisters and Brothers. I have the blessing of having their trust and their desire to want to make art with me. I have the innate desire to make magic with beauty-FULL people. I want to show you what I see… I really do.

Here is what I saw a few weeks ago… Enjoy this Exquisite Magic Creation with my Yoga Goddess Rachel.